6/27/2006

A young man onced asked how can one really come to know a man? When can you say that this person is already mature? The wise man answered: by watching him in his cup, by his tenper, by his purse.But it should not interpreted to mean when he is drunk r when he is angry, or is arguing about money or making his living. It could mean that man's true nature is revealed in different ways. It is by the way he handles his liquor, by the way he controls his temper and the way he uses his money.

I asked myself...am I mature...?

Yes I am already in my 20's but am I really matured enough to face all the hardships in life. Yeah I can drink 5 to 6 bottles of beer, can finish a pack of cigarette in a day, can control my temper(sometimes?) I even earn my own money. But this are a few of the many basis of being mature.

For the past few months all I did was to enjoy every minute,every second of my life. Take few shots of beer, hangout with mah friends till 3 in the mornin' and play volleyball all day long. There are even times when I found myself getting so drunk and being in the middle of a fight(with friends sometimes..) In short, I've been a happy-go-lucky kinda person.

Later this afternoon my brother came. We had a very serious talk which I don't wanna give details to it. What I realized is that I've been suck a jerk...so childish.. Now only that I realized, I should be responsible. Yeah--I am working for sometime now but never did I take it seriuosly. Never did I give full attention to my work. My emotion is strong but my will is weak. If some inventor were to invent a machine that would give me a shock evertime I did something that would give me a hard time, I would probably try to short circuit the machine.

I don't know when or how will I take full responsibility in my life, but I am hoping to find the answer to this queations as soon as possible.

Probably I'd give myself sometime to be alone and think of ways on how I can handle my life as a matured person...

6/15/2006

Inspired quotes from Sex in the City...

1. If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want
you,
nothing can make him stay.

2. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.

3. If you have ANY doubt in your mind about a man's character, leave
him
alone.

4. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

5. Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant
to be.

6. Don't force an attraction.

7. Slower is better.

8. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly
happy.

9. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you
deserve then heck no you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat
a
friend.

10. Have faith in God regarding your relationship, but don't let faith
make
you stupid. God does things decent and in order.

11. Don't settle.

12. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.

13. If he keeps changing his mind about the relationship--take that as
a BIG
sign that he is unstable. Do you really want to be with a man like
that?

14. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at
yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.

15. Honorable men take care of their business and aren't involved in a
whole
lot of mess.

16. The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

17. There's only one 'reason' a man dumps you; he doesn't want you.

18. Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different
women.
He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you
any
differently?

19. You really do have to kiss a few frogs before finding the prince.

20. Always put yourself and your happiness first.

21. Always have your own set of friends separate from his.

22. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers
you,
speak up.

23. If he doesn't call, he just isn't that interested.

24. Be honest and upfront.

25. Know when to cut the cord, don't be strung along.

26. Don't fall for the "I'm confused role". Remove yourself from the
situation to let him figure things out (but don't wait for him, move
on).

27. If you want to have a clue as to how he will treat you, watch how
he
treats the WOMEN in his family (not just mom).

28. There's more than physical abuse, there's emotional and mental
abuse. If
he causes any of them...flee.

29. You cannot change a man's behaviors. Change comes from within.

30. Don't let him place rules on you that he is not willing to follow
himself -- double-standard.

31. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even
if he
has more education or in a better job.

32. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing
less.

33. Demand respect and if he can't give it, he can't have you!

34. Don't compete with other woman, but be aware that men are attracted
to
what they see.

35. If you think he is cheating, he probably is. Confront him right
away and
if you feel he's lying, let him go.

36. Actions speak louder than words.

37. Never let a man define who you are.

38. Never rely on a man for compliments, look to yourself for that.

39. Never borrow someone else's man.

40. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.

41. Just because he says he loves you, doesn't mean that he won't hurt
you
and it doesn't mean that you are meant to be with him.

42. To use painful hard-won wisdom -- 'get it right' he next time.

43. Know that you deserve to be the number one person in the life of
the
#1person in your life.

44. Love is a verb ...

45. Learn to give up your lifelong task of trying to make someone
unavailable-available, someone ungiving-giving, and someone
unloving-loving.

46. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.

47. All men are NOT dogs.

48. You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a
two
way street.

49. If you don't love self...you can't love anyone else.

50. You cannot mend someone else's broken heart.

51. You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute
about baggage...deal with your issues before pursuing a new
relationship.

52. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship
consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone
complementary...not
supplementary.

53. Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.

54. NEVER give more in a relationship than you are getting out of it.

55. Never become your man's "therapist".

56. When actions and words conflict, believe the actions. Respond to
the
actions.

57. A real healthy relationship requires two people. One person can end
it -
but it takes two to make it work.

58. Don't fall for the "I'm not the loving type"...when a man loves you
there is nothing in this world (within reason) that he wouldn't do for
you.

59. Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are,
and
you're always readily available to him he takes it for granted.

60. Give him his space...let him go out with his boys, don't pressure
him to
spend time with you. You cant force a man to hang out with you.

61. If you wouldn't allow your daughter to be with him you shouldn't.

62. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.

63. Never move into his mother's house.

64. Provide financially for yourself and don't depend on anyone.

65. Never co-sign for a man.

66. Never believe you have the perfect guy and he is so innocent.

67. Never spoil your man; let him spoil you.

68. Never let a man mess up your credit.

69. When it's time to let go; let go.

70. Good men should be treated like good men.

71. Don't play games.


72. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that
you
need.

73. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

74. Compatibility in terms of educational attainment, values, beliefs,
personal and career goals, and socioeconomic status, are important.

75. Never date a guy who wears colored contacts.

6/12/2006

Q and A

Q and A...la magawa eh!!

Message: Q : What is your status?
A : SINGLE!

Q : What were you doing 5 minutes ago?
A : checking my blog

Q : Do you cry most of the time you have
problems?
A : yeah sometyms!

Q : Who is your last bf/gf?
A : aldrine

Q : Did you have a fight with sumone today?
A : nope

Q : What's the coz of you're fight?
A : huh!!

Q : Who cheers u up most in your life?
A : mah friends and my mom

Q : Who made you smile this day?
A : Eunice my team8

Q : Describe ur present relationship
A : I am not into any relationship ryt now but em' in luv!

Q : Describe ur past lovelife
A : worst relationship ever!!

Q : Do you think that the guy/girl ur w/ryt
now is d guy/girl of ur dreams
A : Not seeing anyone but in love with a gurl!!! shit! I'm in love with a gurl Goddamnit!!

Q : Last few words you said to ur gf/bf
A : loser!!

Q : Song for the one you love
A : To love again..."and i don't wanna go on pretending that it's gonna be a happy ending, if I should love again once I've learn to love again...and oh! It'll never be the same without you baby...this pain inside is drivinmg me crazy...

Q : What's your opinion about long distance
relationships?
A : it'll never work if you don't trust each other!!!

Q : About love at first sight?
A : bet it's better if you'll take a deeper look.

Q : about Real Best Friend?
A : if i can find a real one, thank God!!

Q : What do you think about loving sumone but
he/she is not yours?
A : such a loser if you'll expect him/ her to love you back

Q : Did you ever love sumone but he/she didnt
like
you?
A : of course...yes!!

Q : Did you ever dump sumone?
A : naa

Q : Did you ever have a relationship with sumone
u
didnt love?
A : no!!

Q : Did you ever hurt sumone who loved u so
much?
A : yeah and I'm sorry for that


Q : Do you like someone from ur school?
A : naman!!! he's cute eh!!

6/09/2006

So-called "HeArTaChE"

Here I am again...tamang magbblog lang ako kapag may problem..anong magagawa ko, dito ko lang nailalabas lahat diba...

June 1-
Swimming ng volleyball team sa Adventure Resort, as usual kasama si hanna(number one fan ng team namin). Early in the morning nagkita kita sa house nila charity para magluto. Hapon narin ng umalis kami..It's an overnight swimming.Aside from hanna,anj and julius(friendships namin toh!)isinama ni Ava ang kanyang friends, sina Zhang and Vhench at ang kanyang so-called "lover" na si Jhing na super m*****!!!! I thought mageenjoy ako sa swimming na yon coz makakasama ko si hanna, unfortunately naging isang major disaster sa akin ang araw na iyon...The whole night hanna spent her time with charity with the reason na medyo nabastusan si charity kay jhing kaya naghanap sya ng protector. For God sake whole summer si hanna kaya kasama ko and in just one snap of a finger nagbago ang lahat...as if I am a total stranger to her...di lang nila alam na mas naharass kaya ano ng hayop na jhing na yon(Well alam narin naman nila ngaun, but it's too late).
I just ignored everything that had happened on that night. Hoping na hindi ako napapraning sa nangyayari sa amin ni hanna...

***from that night feeling ko aloft na si hanna sa akin. Siguro nga mali ako! Kung bakit nasabi ko pang crush ko sya, kung bakit kasi nahalikan ko pa sya. Oo nga dare lang yon, it's only a game...game na dapat hindi ko sinamantala...Shit praning ba ako or masyado ko lang talagang mahal na si hanna, bakit ganoon..nagseselos ba ko kay charity...most of the tym sila na ang magkasama..have I done anything wrong para umiwas sya sa akin? may nasabi ba kong mali? Tama ba tong nararandaman ko? Alam ko wala as in WALA akong karapatan para magreact or makaramdam ng ganito...Putchang love to...

June 6-Tamabay lang kina charity ulit. Watchmode ang exena...Nuod lang kami dvd tapos tambay lang nila Pao. later that afternoon dumating si hanna. Kinagabihan tamang food trip lang.Napangisipan namin na kinabukasan manunuod ng "THE OMEN" tapos foodtrip nanaman.

June 7- Expected ko tuloy lakad namin pero hindi...ayaw na raw ni cha manuod, si Eunice tinamad narin pati si Paul,at ang hanna ayun kasama ulit ni cha..
Pagkagaling sa office ng AIG, I went straight to SM Fairview at hinihintay ako ni Anj. Badtrip na kami sa nangyari. We've decided na mamili maggrocery para sa lulutuin tapos bumili ng gift ni hanna(Remembrance ko lang kasi aalis sya).
Paguwi namin dumiretso kami ni Anj kina Charity at hinatid lahat ng pinamili namin and para ibigay narin kay Hann yung gift, expected ko na kasi nandun sya kina cha.
Pagkabigay ko ng gift, the least I expect is a "Thank you from her pero kung di ko pa ask si Anj na tanungin si Hann kung naapreciate nya yung gift ko di pa sya magrereact.(sakit kaya non!)

June 8- Last day na nakasama namin si hann. After our game sa palmera diretso sa bahay for grand inuman session. 2 reasons to celebrate: nanalo kami sa game and despedida ni hann(Aalis na nga eh, dapat ba magcelebrate).
Sa totoo lang ayaw ko na magkuwento sa mga pangyayari ng araw na to...Ngaun lang ako nabadtrip ng ganito...kung pwede lang isumpa oting araw na to..di dahil sa aalis na si hann and last tym na namin sya makakasama. Maraming nangyari sa night na naginuman kami..lahat na ng kalokohan, katarantaduhan, kakulitan, at kabwisitan narin...
Tang-ina bakit kasi nagmahal pa ko...Ay!! nasabi ko na pala kay hann na mahal ko sya(Thanks to Joedan!!!)

...Heartache nanaman...Tang-ina bakit ba ko minumulto ng salitang to...masama bang magmahal kasi!! Hay!!! hanna, di ko talaga kasalanan na nagustuhan kita, di yon sadya, di planado. Basta ko naramdaman ko lang. Ang tagal ko pang tinago...pigilan ko man, la na ko maga2wa..mahal na kita..tanggapin mo nalang....nyekkkk!!! As if masasabi ko kay hann to.

Once sinabi sa akin ng friend ko kung nagmahal ako ng friend ko, I only got 2 choices...sabihin sa kanya na mahal ko sya and let love take place or forever hide the feeling under friendship full of pretendings. Oo nga namn kaya sinabi ko nalang, Yun nga natagalan pa eh, and now I end up losing my friend...shit talga!!
I don't know where it will lead me, basta alam ko mahal ko sya, wala man sya rito, sure ako sa feelings ko, un lang di ko alam kung panghahawakan ko pa to ng mas matagal kasi alam kong walang mangyayari.


.....
TO LOVE AGAIN-
Radio's fine
It helps me forget for awhile
I look back and recall
Those days I had with you
Sometimes I need a friend
Just to make it through
Another day spent without you...

You gave me all the reasons to live
Then you had to go
And I just got to let you know
Its hard to love again
Just to make it through
Another day spent without you...

And I don't want to go on pretending
That its going to be a happy ending
If I should love again
Once I've learned to love again
And, no, it will never be the same
Without you baby
This pain inside me is driving me crazy
'Cause, its hard to love again...

Friends are great
They cheer me up for sometime
When the day is done
My mind is back again with you
Oh God, I need a friend
Just to make it through
Another day spent without you...

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